A Bit of Light

I'm sitting in the yellow chair, skimming the Sunday paper. I'm home with the two youngest because the 7-year-old has had the flu.

It's been a hard morning. These two struggle greatly in their relationship. No love is lost between them. And this morning has brought me endless opportunities (ha...) to address the consistent fighting. I'm weary, and it's not even noon.

I'm a bundle of questions. What am I doing wrong? What am I not doing? Will these two ever love each other? Will they ever fear and love God enough to love each other? Could they just pretend for a while?

Some of it, I handled well. The rest gets a "D-" on the parent report card. I even yelled during one particularly difficult moment. ugh...

So... I'm sitting in the yellow chair. Skimming the paper. The two of them have found a movie to watch: The First Noel. A Christmas movie. In October. Whatever. Maybe the idea of Jesus being born will do them some good in their hearts today. Honestly, I'm just thankful to not hear squabbling.

Out of nowhere, Jake's sweet voice pipes up: "Hey, Mom, dat like me!"

I'm pulled out of my other world: "Huh?"

"Dat like me!"

"What? What are you talkin' about?"

"On da movie -- dat like me! I got picked!"

"Excuse me?"

"I got picked. To come to your house. God picked me."

"You mean, like Mary was picked to be Jesus' mother?"

"Yeah! I got picked!"

Wow... I don't know why that blows me away so much. I mean, we've talked about that some. I'm waiting for the day when Jake will connect those dots & know his Creator and that the Creator has done incredible, marvelous things for Jake.

I just didn't know that it was sticking. And God, in His kindness, showed me today (a day when I have chosen to look down and despair, chosen even to yell in frustration, chosen to believe that God will never change this situation) -- today, God showed me that Jake is starting to get it. Not just that he came here, not just that he was "picked," but that GOD picked him.

A sweet kindness for an undeserving mom. A bit of light when my blind eyes only see dark. The hope that Jake's heart will one day swell with gratitude toward the Chooser. And that Jake is chosen ~ picked ~ for eternal life.