Without Wheels

The van quit on us on Saturday. Um, on the highway. 2 hours from home. Had thought to be home by 5:30 p.m. Wasn't going to happen. (Got home at 11:30 p.m. [thanks to my husband's best friend] after spending 5 lovely hours in a Hardee's. They have the best chicken tenders!)

In the interim, as we wait and learn to live with one vehicle:

I have had no way to leave my house as often as I was before. I am at home. A lot.

Suddenly, the official end of our school year is an actual target that I can see, plan for. In fact, DJ finished today.

My house is getting clean. And organized. (Well, Prednisone is certainly helping, sure. But if I had a car available, I bet I'd be hauling kids all over tarnation, buying things I don't need to spend money on, going places and meeting too many strangers.)

I am making jam again.

I am finding time to read to the younger two more.

I am petting my animals.

My flowers and plants are getting watered in this incredible heat. And living!

The bird feeders are staying full.

I am talking to my husband on the driveway at the end of the day because everything has been finished and I have the time to actually have a conversation on the driveway just before dark.

I am having to plan better any trips to town, causing me to think through how I do things WITH a car. Meaning, having a car available means that trips to town are much easier and so more frequent. I am now learning to discern better what activities are necessary. I'm seeing, because I'm slowing down, how doing things at the speed of light might get more done, but also causes more stress because I'm not slowing down to think how to do them better. With much less stress.

I am planning meals that are better for my family. Because I have to plan better. And because I'm at home to cook those meals, not sliding in at the last minute (as so often before) to throw a bunch of stuff out of boxes & cans, labeled as "dinner."

Without a car is hard, a bit. But so, so good for me, as well. A much-needed minor trial that is causing me to see things differently. And shudder at how quickly I allow my life to become what I don't want it to be.