Kissed her awake again this morning, as I have for almost every morning of her life. There will quite a few more of these wake-up calls before the end of August.
But today I kissed her awake to her last day as a homeschooler. Today marks the end of 13 years of being her teacher~mom. Tomorrow she crosses the stage to take the diploma that says she finished. She finished well.
Me? Not finishing quite so well. I want more days to kiss her awake. I want more days of math and grammar and history to talk about. More tests to grade. Well, maybe not all of that... I just want more days together under this roof.
Instead of being thankful for the 13 years I've been gifted with, I am selfish and discontent. I'm stinking... The old man is ruling right now. I'm praying for a heart cleansing. Extra grace.
I sigh for my kids to be stuck with this melancholy, way-overly-sentimental mom.
And I look forward to Heaven, where there will be no more endings. Or tears. Or stinking, ugly sin.
2 comments:
Hugs to you my friend. I'm right with you, but in a different way. Hope finished her first year of college yesterday and today went to spend a month with her sister. I'm struggling with discontent, selfishness and tears. There is grace though and forgiveness for the sin that so easy gets us. Praying for you and love you!
I am praying for you, Dear Sister. I would be struggling in your shoes, as well. And yes, there is always the grace we need, as Terri Oxner reminded me last night as we visited.
And as you, my sweet friend, never fail to remind me. Your gift at Christmas continues to sit on my kitchen sill, ever-constant reminder that I have all I need as I cling to Him in trust.
Love you!
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