Faithful Kindness

It's been a hard couple of days, on several levels.

I know I have a hard time hiding my emotions when they're roiling. I know I've been walking around, zoned out while my mind races at the speed of light to process the situation(s) and all the implications.

I live not on this terrestrial level but in reality, at the throne of grace, full of sin but looking to my Answer for help.

Help comes from His hand in the most surprising ways, at times. Often surprising because my fallen heart struggles to believe that He will be faithful in His promise to hear my cry. The truth is that God loves me and has shown me in a million ways over the centuries. But my very flawed & polluted self fights to just believe that His love is, indeed, for me. (I am blown away that He answers in spite of my very defective view of His grace and kindnesses.)

On my Bible yesterday was a letter from my Mem, covered in Truth for my edification, my encouragement, my comfort. Verses from the mouth of my Answerer, my Refuge. A channel of love through my daughter from the very throne I had laid before.

Answers.

I smiled through fresh tears as I absorbed the sweetness of this act. And I smiled as I realized that, in grabbing something to quickly write the balm for this mom's heart, she'd picked up an old piece of stationery. One from long ago. One from her pre-teen days.

The picture of Josefina was a tender spot on the page. Memories flooded quickly of my young Mem, of her hours spent living in American Girl land. God reminded me of the length of her life, how He has brought her to this point, how He has blessed me with her from day one.

How she has changed from the days of Josefina and into the present-day young woman who has found the balance between respectfully remaining under my authority while also becoming my confidant, my helper, and my encourager.

In short, my friend.

For eternity, my Sister.

When you read this, Mem, know that I love you and cannot thank you enough for your sweet note. I've read it over several times, each time receiving the love and comfort it was given with.

God points to you often as I seek Him and says, "Here is a gift that says, 'I am thinking of you and I love you.' Do not doubt that I hear you and am listening."

Thank you, Father, for never turning from me, your most unstable and foolish child.