Day 13

Full of gratitude because:

I was able to get a lot done on finishing Mem's yearbook page, which is due next THURSDAY, for cryin' out loud... [I spent the vast majority of my day pulling pictures from the day Mem was born up through her 4th b-day. Because I'm such a sentimentally-slobbery person, and because it's gray and rainy outside, and because "things" here in our household are very heavy right now, I found myself beating back the beast of despondency with every step of the way. I am embarrassingly sad when I think of Mem leaving next fall. It continues to be a battle for me...)

But... I didn't sit and weep and freak my kids out. Instead, the God-Whose-Grace-Is-Always-Sufficient chose to undergird me and help me to focus on the positive. So, I'm full of gratitude for that.

Full of gratitude that I was given eyes to see through the pictures that our lives have been so, so full up to this point. I consistently worry that I've blown it, somehow. I'm often found taking steps to ensure that I won't look back with regrets; good on one level, freakishly psycho on another. I want my kids to look back on their lives here with good memories & thankful hearts. I think I'm responsible for that and so work (too) hard to make that happen. God kindly reminded me today to (again) give it up; that He is in control; that I am only responsible to love them well ~ He is responsible for their hearts. And we've had many, many, many good times already, with more down the road from the looks of things.

Full of gratitude for a son who stepped up to tackle a tough task so I wouldn't have to. Chivalry continues to poke its head up! Thanks, Big-E.

Full of gratitude for a daughter who always, always helps. 99% of the time, without me asking. Because God made her like that.

For a place to take a shower, for hot water, and for a clean, warm, incredibly comfortable bed.

I deserve nothing but Hell. He gives me forgiveness, reconciliation, adoption, righteousness, mercy, comfort, love, compassion, fellowship, goodness... He gives me Himself. He gives me all.